It is Time!

It's been very long since I last blogged. Anyway, fast forward to the present....I am back studying again! yeay!...I'm currently in my 2nd sem 1st year course doing a Bachelor in Communications and am thoroughly enjoying my course.

I have been praying for God to use me in certain areas especially in the area of people ministry(if there is a so-called ministry...haha) and am eagerly waiting to see what He has in store for me. I've also decided to blog each part of this journey of it from now on:)

If you've been wondering what the title is about it's actually the title for my next post. I'll try and post up on what I've been up to and everything in the upcoming post. Just praying that I will have the time to do so.

So, to everyone I know.... May God stretch you and use you to the fullest!

A New Year!

Was just pondering on how the past year has gone for me..was it good, bad, ugly... or maybe great? Let me answer this question at the end of this blog;) hahah

There's a lot to tell on what has happened in the past year of 2006. I worked full-time as an office administrator at church till june 2006. After that I was jobless, insecure, vulnerable......okok, I sound a bit like a pessimist here... for a few months....was another one of those dry times in life where you don't have a clear direction and you're just looking for an open door or just a sign of affirmation to go ahead. It seems odd here that I am a pastor's son looking lost in times where I need to be certain in life (as how the world sees it). At 21, that should be the benchmark on where your plans should seem a little bit clearer than before. Headlines read... Millionaires by the age of 25, Youth pursues passion in fashion, Writer wins booker prize award...these are the people who should have already "made it" or "know what they want to do" in life.... these are the people i should emulate...or so i thought. At these dry times, I definitely knew something was definitely wrong and missing in my life. Why should I worry on what clothes i wear? Matthew 6:25-34 clears up on what I was worrying about. Why should I be so bugged by other people's achievements and wealth? Matthew 6:19-24 says:

Treasures in Heaven
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.
20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.
21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

I have already read these verses countless of times but they never meant so much to me till now. Better realizing things later never.

Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Sometimes we lose focus on what really matters in life. Of course if we set our minds on achieving something, we'll be moving forward towards it at the very least. Some may gain recognition, some don't and some fail. Life goes on. I find Matt 6:24 very compelling.

" No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the other and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

This one verse alone keeps reminding me on what matters most. Serving God. Giving of your self to your friends and neighbours. In the world; time=money. But if you're a Christian, living a life serving others in reflecting the relationship you have with God is all that matters. In His eyes; time=opportunity to serve others. Matt 6:33 states about seeking God first in everything and letting God settle the rest. In all that you do, if you have God in your heart, you'd want to do thing's with purpose. Even with a chore, like sweeping the floor (even if you're the only one, besides your mum who takes the initiative to do it) , just know that God appreciates servanthood even when you can't feel that He's there.

There were times this year where I had sinned and didn't even realize it until things happen or when situations change for the worse. That was in my case that is, different situations require different solutions. Probably God was thinking in that manner but who knows rite? I had this unhealthy-friend-relationship with a girl this year which i guess many didn't know about. Maybe some people found out but I don't really bother about that anymore. It's a past I wish would remind me always to look to Him first, trusting Him totally through all my actions and ways. This relationship started by just wanting to be a better friend....or so i thought....then there was a little bit of flirting (According to dictonary.com; flirt: to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions; play at love; coquet.). I'll be the first to admit that I hate playing games with girl's hearts and even hate the notion of flirting at all. All I know is that I've been tempted and I've failed. I've prayed about this relationship(about this friendship that maybe had gone a bit too close for comfort) and I've been praying for God to show me clearly....literally asking for a slap in the face to let me know that now's not the time to start any sort of BGR. God showed me and I've been hurt for quite some time. It wasn't in anyway about what happened but it was my problem personally to deal with God. If she reads this, I want her to know that it wasn't because of something happened that pulled me away from her but because it was really either not the right time or maybe God was protecting us both somehow in which I still don't really quite understand. I was definitely confused, blur(o this....I think I've been like that even before this...hehe:)...yup!), forgetful and I did feel rejected, lost and even was in denial like I kept telling my self that any sort of attraction never even took place and that it was just part of my vast imagination and dreams. It's hard to talk about things when nothing's been said and the relationship's status undefined. I couldn't be open to anyone because no one actually knows about this besides a couple of my friends. The pain after that incident was unbearable at that time where I kept reflecting on the past and what happened. After what happened, I made some sort of pledge to myself not to go on MSN msgr(fleeing away from temptation..haha) but I haven't closed the book on things yet. I was avoiding her at one point. I still needed to talk to her a little bit more clearly on what had happened and ask for forgiveness on the mistakes I've done. I approached her to talk in December. We talked....hmmm...well, I think I did most of the talking. She did respond though, and I was like "oh okay....I think you get it...yay!". After that conversation, I felt that I was free from this bondage that was hanging over me for quite some time. But the pain still stays. It's definitely a lot lesser but it's still there. I know the universal truth that time heals wounds....though no one would actually know how long this would take. It varies for different people and different situations, aye? Although I feel this is definitely a personal matter and why blog over it but I feel that the time has come to be transparent about my life. To start being accountable to God, myself and my fellow friends(fellow sounds so churchy eh?haha). Hope that this new friendship with her will be renewed under God's blessing and guidance and that we can remain cool as friends:) ~chill~ .
So, I'll still state that last year was still a great year for me...I've stumbled, got up, learned and grew a lot!

Unselfishness is a virtue of greatness- Isaac Ng(2007), Isaac and His Crapping....haha

I'll blog over my next thought some other time....but I 'll leave with the lyrics to this song, a very beautiful one. I really dig the last bridge....especially the last line:-

"He can heal your wounded soul and calm the storm inside"


Sixpence None the Richer
"WITH EVERY BREATH"
Written by Marc Byrd
duet with Dan Haseltine (Jars Of Clay)

Hallelujah from the heavens
Hallelujah in the heights above the earth
Hallelujah all His angels
Hallelujah for the last will be first
let everything that has breath praise the Lord
let everything that has breath praise the Lord

Hallelujah in the morning
Hallelujah for the beauty of His scars
Hallelujah in the twilight
Hallelujah sun and moon and shining stars
let everything that has breath praise the Lord
let everything that has breath praise the Lord

when the night seems so long (throw your hands to the sky)
you can sing a new song (wipe the tears from your eyes)
when you're weak, He is strong
He can heal your wounded soul and calm the storm inside

for all your times of laughter in every hopeful prayer
when the world weighs on your shoulders
through sorrow and your despair
with everything, with every breath, praise the Lord
let everything, that has breath praise the Lord

let everything that has breath praise the Lord
let everything that has breath praise the Lord
let everything that has breath praise the Lord
let everything,that has breath praise the Lord

when the night seems so long (throw your hands to the sky)
you can sing a new song (wipe the tears from your eyes)
when you're weak, He is strong
He can heal your wounded soul and calm the storm inside

A day in KL

Nothing much happened within my knowledge these past few weeks with the exception of jerome taking annual leave for 10 days and leaving me alone right here in PD. haha. Sounds very odd right? As I've said over the past few months our friendship has bonded very much like super glue and we've been encouraging each other with pure brotherly love (definitely nothing identical to brokeback mountain, mind you!!). Let me rephrase that...we've been encouraging each other with pure brotherly love in Christ. As some of you might wonder what's this picture doing here right? This is how I look minus the spectacles. Haven't been comfortable for a while getting my photos taken but recently it's becoming one of my favourite past times. I'm currently trying to cut down the odds of "not so greatly taken" type of photos because I know I'm not photogenically gifted. I've recently taken notice of some of my old friends who can now take really nice pictures of themselves. I believe my sister's photogenic too in a way even though she refuses to acknowledge it. Here are the stats...Last time I believe the odds on me getting a nice picture would be 3/10(three ok pics out of ten). Now, the odds are better for me i guess. Now it should be around 6/11 and i'm trying to get maybe a 15/20 to 18/20....yeah that would be great! Hope that i'm not promoting any sort of vanity here......hahaha.....I've been previously been a slave to vanity for far too long. I believe i'm not a slave of it any more but rather taking it in my stride with whatever God has given me. I'm just getting excited about myself in a healthy way and trying to get comfortable with my appearance. For as long as grooming is concerned.....Isaac Ng Chu Oon is definitely a late bloomer! A constant reminder would be that God doesn't look much on what is on the outside but on what matter's in the heart. Are we glorifying Him? Are we portraying what we believe in the right perspective? Are we living our lives right with God?Grooming on the inside is an extremely tough and challenging thing to do on a daily basis. On the outside we do things for our own satisfaction with people's view in mind but on the inside it's always between us and God.

I would like to introduce you guys to Mr. Jerome Liew. A tall and stout guy (he'll kill me if he sees this so everyone who knows him just....sSsShHhH!..ok?) He knows almost all of the problems I'm facing right now and more importantly he's a great friend although sometimes(now it's becoming more like all times not some...heheh) he ditches me for his gf. But you know la if a guy has a gf....priorities shift. I'm happy for him and hopes his relationship will be a successful one no matter what the outcome. . So, i'll concentrate on what matters most now, get through my studies and start a career(serving God full-time still remains to be seen). I have to be able to take care of myself and the people who are currently around me before I shoulder the responsibility of caring for someone I truly care about...right? God knows best! In the meantime I want to let all the female friends I know that..I care for you in a way that a brother does. Anything that I've done wrong in the past, please forgive me and I hope to serve you gals better in any way I possibly can with the love of Christ...I've been crapping a lot right now so I better start with what happened today.

What actually happened today was quite fun. Our family Klang to send the church's computer to Comm. Victor Vasu for repair because of a power problem. After that, I went to see Dr. Ma for a medical and we had bah kut teh for lunch. Then we headed off to IKEA in sri damansara then we proceeded to Mid Valley to collect something- this "something" can only be revealed by my sis. Well, here comes the interesting part. Boy.. was I in for a treat! Will let you guys know in the next post. Tiredness sets in .. .. .. .. .. ..

the sad and gloomy days are GONE!

That's what the title suggests and that's what i hope for. Things have been going great for me since my last post which is about how many months ago? ahh....yah.....5 months ago. I've been stuck in a rut for quite some time now and it's time to break free.....free from the things that are holding me back....free from unforgiveness....free from sin. umm.....sin....that's what's ultimately all about. God hates sin.

Boy oh boy!....these 5 months have certainly made an impact in my life, my thinking and my relationships with countless people (and no i'm not talking about BGRs here). The utter realization that God has put me to the test in which i failed miserably. i realize i'm not strong enough. His thoughts are so much higher than my thoughts and so are His ways. There's no point in trying to decipher that code which surrounds my life and circumstances with my own understanding. The only way of getting through the tough times, to be successful in meaningful relationships, marriage and life itself is to look to God first. Love your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Seeking His kingdom first other than ours (Matthew 6:33) is a commitment that's so easy to say but hard to do. Many Christians today (i'm reminding myself too!) try and seek the best in their education, striving hard for the best job, trying multiple ways to multiply their income, getting a nice car, home and trying to live comfortable lives. It's alright to think and have some desire for these but once we're thinking more of it rather than letting God be the main reason in our lives, we're most probably making these things our idols without even realizing it....hence sinning! Well, i've begun re-examining myself about my thoughts and actions especially recently on a day-to-day basis. Counting my failures, repenting of my sins and trying to be true to God and myself (if that makes any sense) and seeking His purpose in my life, not how people look at me and expect me to be. Well, i'll sum up what was going on in my life 5 months till now in the next paragraph.

Well, i've bonded with certain "people"who were around me since i first stepped in Port Dickson. The term "people" is used because it's wide. I'll elaborate. "People"- joash, shaun, asaph, jin swan, edmund, jerome, peh yung, may ann, charis, cindy, gideon, george, marcus and the hunks from Firm Foundation (mun, kuan, steven, guan, peter, thomas, jabez, foo, unc. lazarus, joseph, tey and fatt)......it's not in any chronological or whatever order. I may have bonded more with some "people" in the middle compared to the front ones....or maybe not (hehe....how's my version of trash talking?;P). And yeah, i picked up ping pong again. The guys at FF are hard to beat...i just stand a fighting chance in beating jerome. The rest of the guys i don't have to even mention. they beat me flat. Jerome'll beat me flat too if he's on top form ...hahaha. The bros in FF are great.....in a sense that they sort of "motivate" me to exercise just like in a gym minus the equipment. This is what i do in my weekly routine: jogging 50 rounds around a badminton court at least 3 times a week and cycling to and fro Firm Foundation(should be around 2 km per session) around 4-5 times a week. My daily routine(though still not as consistent): pumping 4 sets of 25 each and chin ups 4 sets of 10 each. All this in addition to playing futsal/ sepak takraw/ ping pong. All in all i'm glad that i get to meet and know such wonderful souls here in Port Dickson which was supposed to be the land i was desperately trying to get out of. The youths here have been great. Was surprised with the enthusiasm of jin swan and edmund when they got sucked into music. One is an avid linkin park and fort minor fan.....the other's more of a versatile listener. For me....i'm outdated on music rite now. And my oh my, has my taste of music changed!....i'm so into pop tunes which was not so a few months ago i think. Not so into britney spears and aguilera but more of umm mandy moore, kelly clarkson, avril lavigne and vanessa carlton...more of their older stuffs. My all time favourite should still be "a thousand miles" by vanessa carlton. Looks like numinous' gonna sound "poppish" from the drums for a while....heheh :)

gtg now.....this entry will be continued...

musicianship anybody....???

this is something that came into my mind last night. Luke Sanjay(bass/electric guitar/lead and backing vocals) and the Good Shepherd band( which changes periodically or let's say rotates their members at times) which consists of- Sheema(keys/piano/vocals), Peter(bass), Vedadas(bass) , Andrew(electric guitar), Simon(electric guitar) Sharma(backing vocals/lead vocals/keys), Ashwin(drums/perc.), Shoban(drums/perc.) Samuel(electric guitar/backing vocals), Samson(drums/lead vocals/backing vocals), Joash(drums/perc.) have impressed me a lot in their passion, skills, practices and determination to be dedicated in their skills to be equipped to serve God. I just met some of them yesterday and was having fun talking about music. Sanjay just got his new sporty look Kia Spectra(just met him last night in practice for the women's convention thing in flamengo hotel this coming friday). so at around 11.50pm here i was in the car with Sanjay and Ashwin and we were listening to some cool fusion music. Then came the big surprise!! I finally heard a song "Rescue Me" or something like that(almost completed) from Sanjay's first upcoming album. with his influences ranging from Sting to John Patitucci to Frank Gambale to Dave Weckl and their respective bands it's no wonder he more than manages to stir one's imagination in his songs with some firm groovy bass-lines and soaring leads and how can i forget that catchy chorus tune. His lyrics I can't comment much (but it certainly leaves the listener to ponder some thoughts)coz i just listened once but his vocals is clear and full which is more than good enough to spread the desired message. I can somehow see a very very very slight eric johnson tone in his singing(but he wasn't that happy about that comment...heheh)...so i'll just sum it up as a very defined, clear, full and a very nice quality in his voice. but what i heard from his song needs more than words to describe with nice backing vocals and synth playing from Sheema and some great drumming from Ashwin.....the musicianship was indeed high. not too high compared with world class professionals but most certainly high. looks like i need to buck up on my drums, acoustic guitar, vocals, bass and my new found love...the electric guitar....to dig deeper in my understanding of music

hmm

hmm... it's been peaceful these days i don't know why but i just feel it. will be worship leading this week have been off duty from the worship team for a month now....haven't been playing the drums in church for around 1 1/2 to 2 months i guess...haha...i just feel that i may be in dreamland. there's this feeling that makes me so relaxed, cozy and calm today. it seems that all troubles just seem so small. considering venturing into the music industry or something that's linked to it even though it's very tough in this country. might be teaching drums soon, full time for a couple of months and see what happens. although there are many doubts, and a lot of things going through my mind i believe and trust that God will never abandon me even though i've made some wrong crucial decisions in life. LIFE IS GREAT WHEN YOU TRUST GOD!

a new phone?

when love takes you in
everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
when love takes you home and says you belong here
the loneliness ends and a new life begins
when love takes you in

This song is great. The lyrics, the music..haha..am a fan of steven curtis chapman's songs especially lately when his compositions like "i will be here" and "when love takes you in" has this sentimental feel. strong and commendable lyrics...

umm....have been looking around for a phone for a very long time and i can't remember since when but i'm very pleased with what i have right now...sony ericsson's K700i..thanks to dad and mum who bought it for my birthday which came in very timely coz i know i won't have enough cash to get that phone with my current expenses running a bit high(for me that is). A very nice phone but i'll need to learn more about it to use its functionality to its maximum.